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for the friends of Bill Downs and his Trafon - "NoFart" Blog ,
I am offering the eBook version of my book
The Ultimate Book of Bathroom Etiquette and Humor

Have you, like millions of other good bathroom-abiding citizens, been looking for a hilarious book that is for and about the bathroom? A book that is at once instructional and satirical, one that teaches, but also has just a little bit of a dark side...a book that you can read during your dump, but also take with you to your living room or to your car? A book that you will want to read over and over, and share with family, co-workers and friends? Well, here it is: Larry Glanz's popular book, The Ultimate Book of Bathroom Etiquette and Humor, available through X Libris Publishers, is just for you. You may download for FREE this one-of-a-kind compendium for and about your bathroom, by clicking here.

Or, feel free to read on as we tell you more about this must addition to your favorite reading room!

The Ultimate Book of Bathroom Etiquette and Humor is author Larry Glanz's comprehensive compilation of the best and worst examples of public and private bathroom behavior. Larry, a regular guy, who may be a little more attuned than the next guy or gal to the pleasures of a positive bathroom experience, and the perils of a disastrous one, has had more than his share of both and he is here to offer his advice! His position as an account executive in the nutrition industry, and his penchant for drinking lots of water and tons of coffee, has exposed the author to thousands and thousands of bathrooms. And, if that wasn't enough, this self-described cross between Ann Landers and Howard Stern's Fartman, has committed, and committed to his memory, a score of bathroom etiquette sins, including:
  • Forgetting to courtesy flush his load, causing a fleet of submarines to float onto a beautiful Oriental rug in the middle of a gorgeous bathroom in a palatial seaside estate that he and his (now ex-) wife are visiting. Yes, it was her brother's in-laws' place, and it was his first and final visit there!

  • Forgetting he was in public, and not-so-discreetly scratching his killer rectal itch, in the middle of his industry's huge annual convention. Oh yeah, the boss' wife was an eyewitness!

  • Not hitting the john after a delicious, if gassy, Italian meal with a hot date, and consequently breaking wind with a veritable cannon blast that is met with a look of disapproval and horror by the young hottie he intended to get to know better!

Well, luckily, Larry is always trying to learn from his mistakes, and always looking to further his education in proper bathroom etiquette. In fact, his insatiable bathroom curiosity soon led him to look for and chronicle the best bathroom signs in America, including one of his favorite poetic reminders:
    If you sprinkle when you tinkle
    Please be neat and wipe the seat

Discovering this sign in his travels, and remembering the scores of bathroom etiquette sins that he has committed and witnessed, inspired Larry to write The Ultimate Book of Bathroom Etiquette and Humor.

The Ultimate Book of Bathroom Etiquette and Humor includes hundreds of humorous, rhyming jingles that remind us how to avoid becoming bathroom etiquette sinners. And, there is a category for everyone in this 21 chapter book, including chapters with these titles:
  • A Breath of Fresh Air
  • Addressing Issues of Towels and Tissues
  • Give It A Jiggle..Give It A Wiggle
  • Techno-Jingles for Computer Geeks

The belly laughs keep coming in Larry's special sections, including:
  • Bathroom Etiquette Nursery Rhymes
  • All About Pet-iquette
  • Don't Be Skittish...It's Only Yiddish (introducing Yingles)!

And, if all that wisdom and subversiveness were not enough, you may stain your shorts as you read:
Still not convinced that this is the ultimate bathroom book of your dreams? Then, you may want to know that The Ultimate Book of Bathroom Etiquette and Humor includes 50 soon-to-be-classic song parodies that will certainly have you jumping and dumping, and swaying and spraying!

This awesome keepsake book is now available in cushy paperback and durable hardback editions! So, don't just sit there in contemplation and constipation.

To order your very own, hilarious one-of-a-kind compendium for and about your bathroom today, click here

© 2000 by Larry Glanz. All rights reserved.